WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE ALL THE WHITE KIDS ARE RUNNING
WHILE I AM STILL AT THE STARTING LINE?!
My High School Profile:
*I was in the top 10% of my class and earned AP credits.
*my GPA was impressive; my SAT and ACT scores were better than average.
*for four years, I was a member of multiple school clubs, including one with a volunteer focus.
*as a Senior, I had a leadership position in student government.
*I played regularly on the school lacrosse team.
The Reactions of Others to My Profile:
*National Honor Society membership was only one of my many honors.
*I received pats on the back from everybody in my family.
*all my teachers loved me.
*I had many offers to write recommendations for my college applications.
*diversity-seeking selective private colleges sent me numerous information packages.
*some schools paid for me to take a trip to their campus; maybe they were attracted to my life story of triumphing over adversity – it was the centerpiece of my college essay.
My College Situation:
*implicitly recognizing that my high school preparation was probably not top-flight, my college provided some on-campus classes in the Summer and “how to be a college student” guidance right before freshman year began.
*my financial aid package includes GPA-dependent institutional scholarship support, plus FAFSA-related monies, plus an on-campus job. Yes, I am grateful to be at my college but that does not lessen the challenges and pressures.
*as a Latina, I am typically in a minority-minority position in my white and Asian male dominated STEM classes.
*it is nice to have an advisor; it would be even nicer if she spent sufficient time to get to know me in order to make good recommendations.
*the pressure to eventually secure an internship is off-putting; I do not have a network of contacts.
*classmates would not consider themselves racist, but some commit micro-aggressions without thinking about it.
*I liked the potential opportunity at college to be exposed to new ideas and opinions, but trigger warnings about possible uncomfortable information and ideas get in the way.
*Did I mention that I am floundering; my classmates know stuff that I have never heard of. The professors assume a level of academic preparation that is beyond anything relevant to me. The AP and other academic successes of high school do not always translate at the college level.
*my participation in any activity except the First Generation Club is more a function of peer pressure than commitment by me.
My Reactions to My College Situation:
*I participate less in classroom discussions, focusing on taking good notes instead. My grades suffer as a result, either directly or indirectly.
*much as I like the theory of feeling slightly out of my comfort zone, I have to say that right now I am flat out uncomfortable.
*my confidence has been hurt.
*I had a professor comment on my accent, which reduced my desire to speak up in class.
*the “big” financial aid package does not provide any discretionary money so I cannot go out to eat or to a movie without thinking about the expense involved.
*there is nobody who understands my situation completely.
*other first generation students can be helpful emotionally, but not academically.
*my parents are confused about why I am not doing better.
*my high school teachers, when they are in touch, encourage me to seek out tutors.
*I wonder about my major.
*it feels like all the white kids are running while I am still at the starting line.
My To-do List … or Not:
*with all due respect, I believe that I am working as hard as possible. The way I put it, I have to work harder than average to simply be average in my STEM classes.
*it looks like I may move from a prospective Engineering major to Liberal Arts, a change not unique among my true peers; note that nobody ever changes their major into STEM.
*I try hard but cannot avoid being resentful toward “the system.”
*if I become politicized, I fear my academic performance will suffer even more.
*I will speak with an on-campus counselor.
*would I recommend my school to the same student high school profile as mine; yes, but only if I had a full understanding of the person, particularly her tolerance for discomfort.
*at some point, it would be nice to vent about the educational system which let me think my high school preparation was sufficient to mean a smooth path in college.
*I know that some people would like me to go public and proclaim my membership in the category of those who have been underserved, those who have been victims of unfair practices by those in power. What would that mean I wonder as a college student embarked on a strenuous route to a diploma? Do I demand retribution by society for its past sins and receive a large mea culpa? Or, to use Gandhi’s famous dictum, should I “be the change?”
*according to Georgetown University CEW data, median earnings for an Hispanic with a Bachelor’s degree are $57,000, 60% higher than the overall median for Hispanics. Should that not drive me! Yes, I want to be happy in my job and have some semblance of work-life balance, but helping my family, an important goal of mine, requires money!
*at least for now, I want to think like a typical college student: what do my actions and time management mean in terms of my studies, my prospective career, my ability to make friends and prepare for the networking that is not readily possible back in my community or within my family and its circle of acquaintances.
Author’s Comments
The Latina “voice” in the paragraphs above technically should be considered a composite. However, the match-up of the various points with the thoughts of individual students of my acquaintance is quite high. Note too that with minor changes in verbiage, this essay is applicable to numerous college newcomers of different ethnicity and gender.
If said students had the time to contemplate some possible reasons for the academic discrepancy which feeds their negative emotions, they might come up with this incomplete list:
*adults who should have known better never indicated that I was getting exceptional grades in courses which were not high in academic rigor.
*well-meaning colleges put a higher priority on their diversity goals than on an analysis of my high school’s inadequate academic rigor.
*adults have committed the ultimate sin: letting young people believe the world is different than it really is.
*teachers colleges do not adequately train teachers for the type of high school I attended.
*my parents did not push as hard as they should have.
*the education field is unique in that the concept of Best Practices is only lightly relevant.
*specifically, teachers unions often fight changes which dilute their power, even when said changes can frequently produce documentable benefits to the students.
*too little money is spent on K-12 education.
*there is insufficient emphasis on what majoring in a STEM discipline entails.
Overall, in my view, the collective “we’ can encourage, support, assist, etc. a student but we cannot replace inadequate high school academic preparation. And the aggregate of educational stuff available on the Internet, from multiple study aids to the Khan Academy, cannot either.
In the past, the idea of using five and six-year timetables to measure college graduation rates has been anathema to many, including myself. The implication was that the overall system would simply accept K-12 mediocrity and charge the students for the dereliction of the adults running the behemoth.
Now, having seen too many students from urban high schools struggling, trying to figure out whether their GPA or their cumulative credits or their stress levels should drive their energies and decision-making, maybe a rethink is in order.
When the students fall behind on their GPA, their scholarships may be at risk, as noted above. When they fall behind on credits, which is a function of either a failed course or a withdrawn course, they tend to look to summer or winter break opportunities to catch up. In some ways, this seems like asking for stress that is continuous instead of “only” in the school year itself.
An additional factor, ironic as it may be, is that the definition of full-time (12 credits per semester) is such that a student attending “full-time” does not graduate on-time, when the latter means four years.
So …. deep breath, perhaps it would be advantageous at the outset to think of attending a four-year college as a five-year, 12 credits per semester proposition, producing the 120 credits typically necessary for graduation. (An alternative idea is to insist on only 12 credits in the first semester and then make a plan that reflects success, or lack thereof, in cultural and academic adaptation to the brave new, and often cold and unfeeling, world of higher education.) An added plus in this five-year approach would be the absence of summer or winter courses, enhancing the student’s ability to both relax and work, and hopefully save some money, because …. this approach is significantly more expensive, and all involved would have to contort themselves to fit FAFSA and individual college scholarship rules.
While the added cost is a real problem, that scenario, like any investment, must measure cost versus prospective income. Would that equation be more off-putting than the current situation? In 2015, only 62% of Hispanic college students returned to their initial school and 28% did not return to any college, according to recent data from the National Student Clearinghouse Research Center. The cost to society of lost aspirations and economic mobility dwarfs the additional outlay needed for the five-year plan.
BobHowittBooks.com; link to Bob’s Latino College Assistance Guide Blog wkbj@att.net; 973-537-1814