Welcome!

Take your seat and put your emotions on hold. You are about to hear things you never expected, not in a dream, nor in a nightmare.

It is January 21. President Trump has been widely praised, except by the bicoastal media elites of course, for yesterday’s inaugural address, in which he promised both to be the president of all the people and to uphold those attributes of the United States which have contributed to its unique place in the world.

*President Trump and the Executive-Director of the National Immigration Law Center are at the podium.

Trump: I realize that the majority of Americans want a positive program of immigration reform. I too want such an outcome, although my methods may differ.

NILC: Immigration advocates undoubtedly disagree with you on many, if not virtually all, of your electioneering statements concerning immigration. At the same time, NILC is in complete agreement that it serves all of our interests to deport the estimated 800,000 criminals who are undocumented immigrants. We also acknowledge that we have hurt the perception of our cause when we made excessive demands and when we marched under the flag not of the USA, but of our prior home country.

Trump: Thank you. We are all immigrants; we simply came at different times and under different rules. I am announcing that there will be no change in the DACA program; it will continue to roll forward on its two-year time-frame. Growth in the American economy must be stimulated and these young, educated individuals are becoming important contributors to that growth. I know that Canada has recognized this and has liberalized its rules regarding international students and immigrants alike.

Upon the advice of people expert in construction and surveillance, I am reconsidering how to best protect America from those who simply walk into the country. It may be that a different approach to technology utilization and cross-border cooperation will be a better combination than an expensive new wall separating us from our important trading neighbor, Mexico. Be assured that the safety of Americans is my prime concern.

*President Trump and the Executive-Director of the American Muslim Center are at the podium.

Trump: For sure, I am guilty of overstatement during my campaign. For that I apologize.

AMC: On our part, we have been negligent in not speaking out more regularly and aggressively about the damage being done to the Muslim diaspora by the criminals of ISIS. We call on Muslims everywhere to disassociate themselves from those who distort the teachings of the Koran.

Trump: Thank you. America was built by people from all nations, with wide variations in culture and religious beliefs. At present, I am nervous about people entering the USA from the seven nations listed by former President Obama as fostering state terrorism: Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, and Yemen. That they happen to be Muslim nations does not mean that I am anti-Muslim. And it does not mean that other Muslim and non-Muslim countries have not been the source of terrorists. I realize that those wanting to distort what I am going to do will do so; that is uncontrollable.

While the AMC will disagree with the policy to be implemented, and I respect that, for the next three months, people entering from the countries former President Obama named will be detained at the airport and subjected to extensive questioning. This does not apply to those holding American green cards or specialized visas such as H-1B work authorizations.

*Trump is now solo at the podium.

I was elected on the basis of two primary promises: stronger economic growth and a safer America.

The actions outlined above speak to these pledges. In fact, immigration reform is essential for economic reasons. Among other factors is that the country is aging and the ratio of working people to retirees has dropped significantly, which puts social security in jeopardy if we do not have higher employment. It may be that importing labor is essential to moving our economic growth rate up, but this only makes sense if (1) we are assured that citizens will not take the relevant jobs, (2) we are satisfied that our education system is producing capable employees, and (3) we are able to adequately vet those newcomers to America.

Globalization itself is tied to immigration. Over half the companies started in Silicon Valley have immigrant founders. These are some of our most dynamic enterprises, and their energies must be protected. This can be done with an expanded H-1B program, which does not contradict the steps outlined above to more closely scrutinize those entering the USA from certain countries.

Globalization is tied as well to the terms of trade. Not only do I have some skills in making deals, but several of my cabinet members have made their living in negotiating for their companies. Yes, you may see some unusual tariffs and some jawboning with countries having overvalued currencies, but there should be no hand-wringing that international trade is going to be suddenly stopped. I simply want better terms of trade, which on balance will mean somewhat less outsourcing and bring renewed job growth to our country.

Healthcare costs, which per capita are double those of neighboring Canada, are a restraint on economic growth. We will address this issue in a manner which does not mean the loss of insurance for low-income populations.

People know that I am emotional. I cannot help but be critical, sarcastic even, when the media is more concerned with “gotcha” questions than with unbiased give-and-take. Similarly, to have rich Hollywood types screaming from their multi-million dollar homes and gated communities about refugees that they would not give the time of day to, except perhaps as disposable servants, is really bad theater. Nor will debt-strapped, unemployed college students be taking refugees into their homes. Acceptance of refugees is a matter for all of us to decide, hopefully favorably, in line with our historical narrative. Right now the issue is safety first, a pause to make sure of credentials.

My third and final fundamental promise to the American people was that I would “empty the swamp;” what I meant in this admittedly overly dramatic verbiage was that it would not be business as usual in Washington. Thus, I am not at all taken back by the screams of wounded pigs who have supped at the federal trough for decades. I want the economic benefits of my changes not to be centered in Washington or in the 1%ers but to be felt in middle America, the people who were ignored by the opposition in the recent election.

Thank you.